


Accidentally in Love

by SWAWindsong



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Everyone is a dumbass, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, So fluffy you'll get a cavity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWAWindsong/pseuds/SWAWindsong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama is forced to study with Tsukishima in order to ensure that he doesn't fail his exams again.  Having a crush on someone is much more difficult to handle than volleyball.  Despite his crush, he finds a way to pass his class and improve their game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Counting Crows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SEMellark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEMellark/gifts).



> I haven't written anything for this fandom yet, so a bit of info. I like to write stories to songs. This song is called "Accidentally in Love" by Counting Crows. I wouldn't suggest watching the music video this time, it doesn't quite fit. Find the lyrics version. Also, I'm writing this for a dear friend who was moving out of their house today. I wish you the best of luck and hope you have lots of happy adventures.
> 
> Finally, I know it's a rare pair, but I thoroughly enjoy rare pairs. The story becomes more focused on how can I make them fall in love as opposed to what I can make them withstand. And that's much more fun for me.

Sunlight streamed through the window making the dust particles that swirled in the room dance in the glimmering rays. Outside, the leaves swayed in the breeze, casting shadows underneath the cherry tree where a couple had chosen to have a picnic. Tobio gazed at them, watching as the man teased his girlfriend with a grape, making her reach to take it from his fingers with her teeth. The girl finally caught the man’s wrist in her own and held it still while she ate the grape.

“Kageyama, pay attention!” Tsukishima’s voice shattered Tobio’s reverie, and he replaced his stupid grin with a scowl as fast as he could. Hopefully Tsukishima hadn’t noticed what he was watching. Hinata had though.

“Kageyama, your grades have been dropping again and you’re going to waste my time by staring out the window…” Tsukishima’s tone of voice made Tobio’s heart drop. Just, please. Don’t say you’re mad, Tsukishima. And more than anything, please don’t say you’re disappointed.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder!” he said, using the same voice he did when Ennoshita or Ukai gave the team instructions for practice. Tsukishima squinted at him, causing Tobio to grind his teeth and twist his mouth at the scrutiny.

“You better, at this rate, you’ll have to do the make-up courses for every class.”

“Yes, sir!” Tobio flinched at his use of the over-proper tone he had adopted. His hands began to itch as Tsukishima shifted in his seat. Clearly it had made him uncomfortable too. Hinata was the only one who seemed at ease. Then again, he understood what was bothering Tobio so much to begin with. The dumbass kept right on doing his work, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings. What a jerk. Hinata caught Tobio’s eye with a sideways glance, and then returned them to the page in front of him, smiling a little bit wider. Tobio ground his teeth even harder. Hinata would probably say he looked constipated after their study session. Just what he needed. Hinata to have more reasons to make fun of him. Jerk.

“Shouyou, go home. Kageyama and I need to have a little talk,” Tsukishima said. Hinata flashed Tobio a great big smile and Tobio silently pleaded at him before Hinata would run out the door. _Please don’t leave me_ , he begged using only his eyes. Hinata’s smile just got larger as he slung his bag over his back and fled out the door.

“See you later, Kageyama!” Hinata’s voice rang through the hallway even though he was already gone. Shit. Now he was alone with Tsukishima, the last person on earth he wanted to be alone with. His face burned as Tsukishima walked over to stand in front of him. It was embarrassing enough to be called out the way he had while Hinata had still been around, but this was downright torture. Why did Yachi have to get mono and be gone for almost a week already? Couldn’t she tutor them from home?

“What’s your problem, Kageyama?” Tsukishima said as he bent over Tobio, scowling behind his glasses. Tobio did his best to avert his eyes, focusing on the grain in the desk he was sitting at.

“Kageyama, answer the question.”

There wasn’t much he could do to avoid answering the question now.

“I…I’ve just been….distracted,” Tobio said. He could hear his own voice echo in the empty room, even though he had said it as quietly as he could manage. Maybe Tsukishima wouldn’t hear him and he wouldn’t be asked to elaborate.

No such luck.

“Yes, any idiot can see that.” Of course they could. “But what has been distracting you?” Shit.

“What on earth could be so important that you wouldn’t be able to focus on your homework so you can go to the volleyball game?” Kageyama’s face burned even more at the interrogation he was being forced through. If that dumbass Hinata hadn’t have left him alone with Tsukushima this wouldn’t have happened.

Tobio waited as long as he could before answering Tsukishima’s question. “Because…I…” he grimaced before finally sucking it up and just saying it. “I’ve been distracted by…someone,” still being as vague as possible.

“Someone…” Tsukishima repeated.

“Yes.” Tobio finally tore his eyes away from the desk to stare daggers at Tsukishima, daring him to question him further.

“Is it Shouyou?”

It was a good thing that Tsukishima was dead wrong, otherwise Kageyama might have run out of the classroom screaming at that point. As it was, he could only scream to the high heavens inside his own head. His throat constricted as he held back any noises that tried to escape his mouth.

Instead of answering, Tobio lowered his gaze back to the desk. The lines were much more interesting than stupid Tsukishima’s face anyway. He could feel those hazel eyes boring a hole into the top of his head. If Tobio didn’t answer, Tsukishima was sure to continue questioning him. He tried to speak, but as soon as he opened his mouth, his breath caught and stopped the words in his throat. There was no way he could answer the question.

“Well, I think it would be better if we separated you two for the time being. If you’re not at the game, the chances of us winning are slim to none. Hinata needs you there more than anyone.”

Tobio could have died right then and there. For so, so many reasons. The least of which was Tsukishima pulling the Hinata needing him card.

“So, from now on, you’ll be studying with me. I think Yamaguchi can handle Hinata.” Tobio’s shoulder began to ache as he realized he was clenching his fists so hard the strain had traveled all the way up to his neck.

“Yes…” he left off the sir this time.

“You’re free to go then. I’ll see you tomorrow. Let’s hope you’re not as distracted then,” Tsukishima said, nearly spitting the words at him.

Tobio kept his head down as he picked up his bag, hiding his eyes behind his bangs as much as he could. His heart raced in his chest and his head pounded as he high-tailed it out the door. He needed to escape that room though. Needed to escape the pressure Tsukishima was putting on him. Tsukishima didn’t even understand what sort of pain he was causing Tobio by separating him and Hinata…and having lessons with Tsukishima alone. He bolted down the hall as fast as he could manage without straight up running out the door.

It seemed to take a lifetime, the hall stretched out before him in an unending series of doors and windows. Finally, Tobio reached the entrance to the school and opened the door to the outside. He breathed a great sigh of relief as the clear air flooded his lungs, clearing his head and calming his stomach.

“How was it?” The high pitched voice made Tobio jump almost a foot in the air.

“Tch, didn’t think you’d wait up for me,” he said, scowling at the ground again. Hinata came to stand next to him and they talked facing the same direction, like two old men discussing the weather.

“And miss knowing what happened? Not a chance in hell! What’d he say?”

Tobio found it much easier to meet Hinata’s gaze than he had Tsukishima’s. The expectant expression meeting his eyes made him soften a little bit.

“He…he said the team needed me…” He blushed and glanced away for a second as he spoke, returning his gaze to see the reaction.

At that Hinata’s expression changed from expectation to one of pure excitement. Yes, there were other things that Tsukishima had said, but that was the one that stood out the most. It was the easiest one to tell Hinata while still giving him the information he desired.

“See! I told you he didn’t hate you! What else did he say?”

Tobio stumbled over his next words. This one was the most important, but also the hardest to deal with. He also wasn’t sure how Hinata would handle it.

“He also said…tch…he said he was going to separate us and tutor me separately…” This time Kageyama couldn’t look Hinata in the eyes. He didn’t think he could handle spending an hour or two alone with Tsukishima for even just a few days. Either until the exams or until Yachi returned. Hinata seemed to understand what Kageyama was saying though.

“You can do it, though! If anyone can tell Tsukishima they like him, it’s you! I’ll help you practice some if you want!”

Kageyama clutched his sides from laughing at Hinata’s preposterous idea. “Like hell you could make a convincing Tsukishima.” There was that time he had imitated Tobio perfectly though, no matter how annoying it had been at the time.

“Watch me.” At that, Hinata made circles with his hands and put them over his eyes, making a grumpy expression as he did so.

“You’re so dumb you couldn’t beat a rock in a spelling contest,” Hinata said, imitating Tsukishima’s expression damn near perfectly. Tobio’s sides burned as he tried to stop himself from laughing, holding onto his knees to support himself.

“You’re tosses are too perfect, it’s creepy. I hate overly excitable people. Can’t you just toss the ball normally?”

As Hinata continued, Tobio could feel himself slowly losing control. It was so similar to Tsukishima’s expression though, and he could just imagine him saying some of those things. Or he remember him saying them.

“I don’t sound like that.”

The laughter died in Tobio’s chest as he stood up straight. Hinata hid his hands behind his back with frightening speed. They both turned around in terror to see Tsukishima standing behind them.

“You can imitate me all you want, Hinata, but it won’t make you smart enough to help this academic disaster,” Tsukishima said. The look of disgust plastered across his face so similar to the one Hinata was making only moments ago that Tobio nearly broke and smiled again. Instead, he bit his lip to stop the upward turn of his mouth.

Hinata looked sideways at Tobio. Tsukishima must not have heard the earlier part of their conversation then if he thought they were talking about Hinata replacing Tsukishima as Tobio’s tutor. The two of them stood rooted to their spots as Tsukishima walked past, head held high, ignoring his obnoxious fellow classmates as he went.

There was no way in hell Tobio stood a chance with him. They watched until Tsukishima was out of earshot.

“What do you see in him anyway, Tobio?”

“He’s just all, shooo, and, whoush.”

“Ooh, ok I can see that.”

“He’s smart…”

“But, Tobio! You’re a genius!”

“Just for volleyball though. And he’s even smart when he plays volleyball. I’ve just been practicing for so long that it’s all second nature. He thinks when he plays.”

“You do too! Especially when you play against The Grand King!” At that Tobio flinched. It was another reason Tsukishima likely hated him. Hinata never had understood why he hated that name. He might understand in theory, but he didn’t get how upset it made him to this day.

“Tobio?”

“It’s nothing.”

* * *

“What’s wrong, Kei?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Hmm? Oh…nothing.”

“You seem distracted.”

“I’m trying to figure out what to do about the Idiot King.”

“You mean Kageyama?”

“Yeah, he’s been a real pain in the ass lately. He was doing about as well as Shouyou for a while, but he seems to be slipping away.”

A small part of Kei’s brain kept nagging him, telling him that Kageyama hadn’t confirmed that Shouyou was the one distracting him during their lessons. But he also couldn’t look him in the eye, which would indicate that he had been lying. Coupled with not responding, it seemed that Kei had hit the nail on the head. It was the most likely explanation. Still though. If Kageyama had given an answer, at least then Kei would know exactly where the lie was. As it stood, Kageyama had avoided the question altogether. The possible implications of refusing to answer were driving Kei up the wall.

He was also bothered by his decision to separate Kageyama and Shouyou. If Shouyou really was the reason Kageyama was struggling lately, it should help. But that hadn’t been the real reason Kei had separated them.  Not really.  The precise reason was evading him though.

They didn’t speak a lot as it was. In fact, until the game where Kageyama asked Kei how he would prefer the ball tossed to him, they hadn’t had a real conversation together. Now, with Yachi sick, they were being forced to talk to ensure Kageyama and Shouyou passed their classes. And passing their classes led to more time together on the court.

“Tsukki!”

“Huh…what?”

“At this rate you’re the one that’s going to need remedial lessons.”

God, he must look like a damn, idiotic school girl. Why did he even care?

Maybe it was because Kageyama’s tosses were so perfect. The way they ended up exactly where they should be to combat the opposing team. Kageyama hadn’t tossed to him like that ever since he asked him to stop though. Kei wasn’t sure if he liked it that way or if he would prefer the creepy tosses at this point. With the way it was, he was given the freedom to spike as he saw fit, and that wasn’t a bad thing. Was it?

If only he could hit the ball like Shouyou. But he couldn’t exactly retract his request to throw the ball normally, could he?

“Tsuuuukki! Earth to Tsukki! What’s gotten into you?”

“Tch…”

“You’re spending an awful lot of time thinking about Kageyama-kun, aren’t you?”

Well that was annoying. Now that Yamaguchi put it that way…that explained…fuck…

“I’m going to bed,” Kei said. He could finish the work in the morning. Right now, he needed to stop thinking for a while.

“Huh? You ok?”

“I’m fine.”

* * *

“Kageyama, could you please try to focus,” Kei said. His patience was nearly at its limit. Kageyama had explained how he had forgotten his phone that day and that it was distracting him now. It all sounded like excuses to Kei, but he was trying to be more patient. For multiple reasons.

 

All he got in response were some unintelligible mutterings and Kageyama looking at the paper in front of him with a dead expression. His eyes weren’t even moving. Getting Shouyou to study with Yamaguchi didn’t seem to be helping at all. If anything, it seemed to make things worse. And that didn’t make any sense to Kei.

Was this really the guy who believed volleyball was life? Who would do anything as long as it meant they would win? Then how come it was so damn difficult for him to study???

“Kageyama, or would you prefer I call you ‘The King of the Court’?” Kei could feel his voice drop an octave, but he couldn’t prevent it from happening. He didn’t want to at this point, but stopping himself had proved futile. Kageyama HAD to go to the game. If it meant getting him riled up, then Kei would do it.

Kageyama flinched under his stare, and the effect was satisfying…until Kageyama refused to answer. Again. He gave in a little.

“You’re going to have to get over this.”

“I’m trying,” Kageyama said, his voice sounded broken and tired. He hadn’t looked at Kei the entire day. Kei didn’t know what was more infuriating. The fact that he wouldn’t look at him or the fact that he knew Kageyama could do better. Because he could do better.

“You’re not trying at all! I know what it looks like when you try! I’m on the same team as you!” He was losing his composure. It was supposed to be Kageyama that lost his cool, not Kei. But he was trying so hard to get Kageyama to pass and nothing was working! All the hours spent after practice until it was dark outside. The time spent on study guides and ensuring Kageyama understood the subject material instead of just regurgitating. Flash cards, highlighters, even candy as rewards. All for _nothing_! How could one person be so terrible at school while being so _great_ at volleyball? Kageyama didn’t respond.

“I AM NOT GOING TO SIT AROUND AND WATCH YOU MOPE! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS I HAVE SOME HOPE THAT WE COULD **WIN** BECAUSE OF **YOU**!” Kei had given up trying to withhold his anger any more.

Kageyama didn’t budge, didn’t look up, and stopped breathing. Did he not understand what was at stake? Kei tried to think of something to say to make Kageyama understand.

“You HAVE to go to the game. Shouyou needs you…the team needs you!” It was the second time he has said anything positive to Kageyama within a couple of days. Kei still didn’t want to admit it, at least not out loud. But he needed Kageyama to understand more than he needed to maintain his dignity at this point.

“You don’t need me,” Kageyama said. It was so quiet, Kei wondered if he had heard correctly. Kageyama continued.

“You’d be fine with any setter. You’re smart enough to be a great spiker and blocker of your own accord. You don’t need me,” Kageyama finished. It felt like Kei’s world had shattered into a million pieces that were all in the process of falling to the ground. But there was no ground to catch them.

None of it was adding up! What could possibly be bothering him? Unless…

“Is this about Oikawa?” Kei couldn’t think of any other reason that Kageyama would feel like he wasn’t a sufficient setter. Kageyama had said, plenty of times in the past, that Oikawa was he scariest competitor. But they had beaten them in their last match against Aoba Joshai. Was that not enough?

“Maybe…His team needs him to be effective. I just hold everyone back,” Kageyama said. He was looking out the window now, but it was better than looking at the desk. Kei followed Kageyama’s gaze to the cherry tree that was standing alone outside. There didn’t seem to be anything interesting there though.

“You’re a better setter than he is.” The third time.

“No. Being a setter is about bringing out the best in your team. I can only bring out the best in Hinata because he’s so bad at volleyball. And even he is getting better. He won’t need me soon enough. For everyone else, unless they tell me exactly what they want, I just hold them back. And I definitely don’t make them any better. Oikawa knows how to make his team better, how to bring out the best in each individual. Even people he’s never played with before.” Kageyama had resumed looking at the desk as he spoke.

Kei’s heart started beating again. It had been stuck ever since Kageyama had said ‘You don’t need me.’ For a moment, he thought Kageyama might be saying…No, that was ridiculous. This made more sense. The easiest explanation is always the best.

“If we practiced, would that get some of this off your mind?” He could still use the information he had obtained to drag Kageyama out of his own head. What an idiot.

For the first time that day, Kageyama looked directly at Kei. His eyes were large and unblinking as he started at Kei with a pleading expression saying _Of course I want to play volleyball. More than anything!_ The dark eyes struck him in the chest, and he almost lost himself in the depths of the galaxy that was Kageyama’s gaze. Kei’s face started burning, and this time he was the one who had to look away. This had better work or he was going to die of embarrassment.

* * *

“Ok, so what would you like to work on?” Kei asked him.

Tobio thought about it for a while. He couldn’t understand why Tsukishima had brought him here to begin with. Kei liked regular tosses. It wasn’t as if they were difficult to hit or anything. And, as he had said a long time ago, he had his own method of playing the game. Tricking the other team through the use of feints and time differentials.

Tsukishima also didn’t need help with blocking, and Tobio didn’t think he’d ever be able to block the way Tsukishima did. He was already thinking as much as he could during matches, but Tsukishima’s focus had been on blocking, and his was on setting.

After an awkward silence that twisted Tobio’s gut the longer it lasted, Tsukishima finally spoke up again. He looked down as he spoke though.

“Look, I know we’ve had our differences. But you’ve tried your best to work with me in the past. Now it’s my turn to try. Then, maybe we can get back to studying so you don’t fail your classes, again, and we can all be at the match on time. So, Kageyama, how do you think I could be a better spiker?”

Holy shit. Tsukishima was actually asking for his opinion. But, he wasn’t looking at him as he asked. Tobio wondered if it was because he really didn’t want to be asking at all. Then, the bright, hazel eyes flicked upwards and were looking at him from over their glasses. Studying him. And Tobio took up the challenge and studied them right back.

How could Tsukishima be a better spiker? He pondered the question, deciding Tsukishima was asking for his opinion and it wasn’t a hoax. Problem was, he had never considered it before.

Tsukishima could hit the ball just fine, and he knew all the basics. The complete opposite of Hinata. Although, even Hinata was getting better, and their combinations had evolved. Hinata’s strength lay in his height and speed though. Tsukishima was tall, which was expected, and comparatively slow. However, Tsukishima had his own strengths.

“You use feints a lot, yes?” Just to confirm. He knew the answer already. Damn, why was it so hard to be calm and collected?

“I use whatever I think the team is least expecting.”

That’s right, Tsukishima was smart and perceptive. With Hinata, Kageyama had to do most of the thinking, granted it was getting less and less every day. So how could Tsukishima get better with Kageyama’s setting?

“Maybe you should try hitting one of the tosses I use for Hinata. They should give you time to make a decision before you spike the ball.”

“Is that the freak toss where it drops suddenly?”

Kageyama grumbled. It was a dumb thing to suggest. Tsukishima hated his freak tosses to begin with, why would the super freaky toss work? He was running around in circles, brain kicked into overdrive. This wasn’t going to work, Tsukishima should just work on speed or something without Kageyama. They could just keep doing what they’ve always done, and it would work fine. Besides, this was stressing him out.

Tsukishima sighed and said, “Well we can give it a try.”

That was the last thing Kageyama had expected to hear. Ever.

But that’s exactly what they did. Or, that’s what they tried to do. Tsukishima threw the ball up so Tobio could toss it and then Tsukishima would try to hit the ball. The first time though, Tsukishima missed altogether, aiming for where the ball should have ended up had the momentum not stopped altogether.

“It’s weird. How can someone toss like that?” Tsukishima said. The words hit Tobio like a sack of brick, knocking the wind and his spirit out of him. If Hinata had been around, maybe he would have picked Tobio’s self-confidence back up with his praise. But he wasn’t here. Tobio was all alone. Dealing with his own inferiority and his own unfortunate feelings.

“It stops right in front of you, what more do you want?” Kageyama was getting frustrated, wishing he had a better solution. But he didn’t. Tsukishima should know that of all people.

“I can’t hit it like that! I’m watching its trajectory and where it should end up.”

“How come you can’t learn how to hit this?” Tsukishima was smart, it couldn’t be outside of his abilities to hit the toss. It should have been easier to hit for crying out loud! Tobio figured out, in the matter of milliseconds, that he shouldn’t have asked that.

“Come again,” Tsukishima said, his voice was hard and cold. It was a tone Tobio couldn’t back down from. The hairs on his neck bristled and his stance tilted forward into a more aggressive posture. Earlier he had been avoiding confrontation, but volleyball was his sport.

“Even the dumbass Hinata can figure it out, you should be able to too.”

“Hinata can hit it BECAUSE he’s dumb.” That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true at all. Hinata had to work to be able to hit that toss because he was getting better at volleyball. The statement might have applied to the old Hinata, but it wasn’t true anymore. What really struck a nerve was that Tsukishima refused to recognize that.

“Then maybe you should try lowering yourself to our idiotic and worthless level. Or is that too much to ask of you? Because I’m trying. Shit I’m trying. Why on earth did you think that I’d be able to figure this out?! I have NO idea because I’m so fucking STUPID!”

Tobio had never spoken this much to Tsukishima in his life. But the two years of snide remarks and belittling of him had taken their toll. On his pride, and on their delicate, business-like partnership. All of the pent up anger was now pouring out of his big fat mouth. Words he would regret shortly, but for now were helping to soothe his own wounds. His chest ached and burned as his lungs forced the words out, ripping past all his inhibitions.

After his tirade, he stood breathing heavy in the silence of the gym. His shoes squeaked and echoed in the room as he returned to a more neutral posture. Tsukishima hadn’t moved and was staring at the ground, eyes obscured further by his glasses. Tobio had no way of knowing what he was thinking.

“I know you’re trying. I know. It just…I…I’mmm….I’m ssss….ohso…Iiii’m ssshhhhh….”

“What?” Tobio tried to keep the contempt out of his voice. He had an odd sense of deja vu.

“I’m SORRY, ok? I’m sorry for calling you The King, and I’m sorry for treating you like you were dumb. I was just….” Tsukishima sighed and adjusted his glasses. “Tch, I hate how you two are so excited about volleyball. I’m doing everything I can, and I still can’t…”

“Can’t what? What can’t you do?” Tobio was baffled and his voice was louder than it should have been. Tsukishima could do anything he wanted though.

Before responding, Tsukishima’s shoulder dropped, and the reaction made Tobio less defensive in turn. “I can’t catch up to you guys. No matter how hard I try.” A distant rumble of thunder broke the silence of the gym. Before Tsukishima had spoken, Tobio realized it had felt like there was an impenetrable wall between them. A wall built by Datekou. One that was tall, impenetrable, and daunting. They had stayed far away from each other, and if they ever got too close, their own respective walls would grind against each other, causing more friction without even speaking. Now, the wall appeared like it had been glass all along as it shattered between the two high schoolers standing in the fluorescent lighting of the gym.

“You’re not supposed to catch up,” Tobio said. It was true.

“Tch,” Tsukishima’s head jerked to the side as he made the sound.

“You’re supposed to find your own way. We’re six people on the court, not me and five versions of Hinata. When I said you should try to hit the new toss, I thought it was because it would work well for your style of spiking. I thought it would work well with feints.” The gym was silent again for a while, but Tobio could see Tsukishima’s shoulder flex and then relax again.

“You’re not supposed to be the smart one.”

“I’m not. I just like volleyball.”

“You just like volleyball, huh…” Tsukishima said, looking towards the ceiling as he thought. Tobio followed his gaze, but there wasn’t anything interesting up there. More thunder rumbled in the distance, but for whatever reason, neither one of them acknowledged it. Tobio just wanted to play more.

“We’ll let’s try it again then.” Tsukishima said. Tobio nodded.

They spent the next few minutes tossing and spiking the ball. It took a few times, but Tsukishima stopped anticipating where the ball should be and began trusting the ball would be where it needed to be. They would need some practice with it, but it was beginning to function. The timing became less of an issue, but something was still off. The spikes lacked power and focus.

“What’s wrong?” Tobio asked, after the third time Tsukishima’s spike barely managed to get over the net. He refrained from being overly critical, no matter how much he wanted to be, and asked a simple question instead. The spikes were getting less and less powerful as they practiced and their base power wasn’t up to snuff either.

“Nothing,” Tsukishima said, but even Tobio knew that was a lie.

“Tch,” he wasn’t about to push if Tsukishima didn’t want to tell him. But he wasn’t going to be happy about it either.

“My hand still hurts, alright?”

Oh…Tobio had forgotten about that. How Tsukishima had split his hand and dislocated his fingers during their match against Shiratorizawa. He never even thought it might still be bothering him.

Now that the wall had been broken between them, Tobio almost couldn’t stop his legs from walking over to Tsukishima of their own accord. He allowed the motion though, and Tsukishima made no move to prevent it. It still felt strange, almost like the temperature had dropped where the wall had been before. He was walking into uncharted territory.

That feeling dissipated when Tobio took ahold of Tsukishima’s hand to inspect it. Maybe a little harder than he should have, because Tsukishima winced. Tobio was a little more careful after that, manipulating the joints to see where the pain was coming from. Tsukishima watched those strange, overly-perceptive eyes. He winced a few more times, but nothing as bad as the first. Tobio could tell the source was lower though, not just in his finger, but at the base. If he hit the ball just right, pain probably spread through his whole hand.

“You’ve been playing with this?”

“It’s not as bad as it seems.”

“Does the coach know?”

“No.” Tsukishima didn’t even have to verbally communicate that he didn’t want the coach to find out either. He didn’t want to appear weak. And he didn’t want to lose. Both of which Kageyama could understand.

“We’ll have to find a way around this.”

“How? I have to hit the ball.” It was true, you couldn’t play volleyball without hitting the ball. But Tsukishima couldn’t keep hitting the ball because his hand wouldn’t heal. Damn that Shiratorizawa bastard. He hit the ball so hard, he’d done more than temporarily injure one of Tobio’s teammates. He’d hurt him in the long term, maybe permanently. That stupid lefty and his stupid…

Tobio looked up at Tsukishima’s analyzing stare, an idea breaking through to him. The response he got before he even said anything was for Tsukishima to raise his head and withdraw his hand.

“What?” Tsukishima asked. The wall seemed to be on the verge of forming again. Tobio had broken their newly formed trust without a word.

He lowered his head to answer the question, “Why don’t you try spiking the ball left-handed instead?”

It was a dumb idea. Possibly the dumbest idea he’d ever had. Why on earth would Tsukishima, who had always been right handed, be able to hit the ball with his left hand? It was enough to ask him to hit his freak spikes in the first place. But even Tobio didn’t think he could just change his dominant hand whenever he wanted to. Asking Tsukishima to work with him was one thing, but asking him to do something even Tobio couldn’t do himself was another.

Tsukishima shrugged, “It’s worth a shot.”

“What, you want to try it?”

“Well, I don’t have a better plan. Plus…” he considered for a moment, “I kinda like that idea. Confusing people by hitting with my opposite hand.”

Tobio thought the world must have imploded underneath his feet and he was being held up by pure joy alone. Tsukishima thought it was a good idea. He could feel his face heating up and he tried to cover it by drinking some water from his water bottle. If nothing else, it cooled him down some.

They managed to practice a few times before the storm broke. It was clear that the left handed spike wasn’t something they’d be able to figure out in a day, but Tsukishima still seemed pleased by their solution. Tomorrow at practice, they would try again. They might be able to use it during the match, depending on how comfortable it was by then.

Rain pounded the roof of the gymnasium and splattered against the windows. It was already dark outside, but the clouds and rain made it seem darker. The storm shut out the moon and stars altogether, and the haze from the moisture seemed to suck up any light from the surrounding buildings.

“What now?” The rain was coming down in sheets and lightening cracked across the sky.

“Well, even if we wanted to go home, we’re still not done with your English lesson.”

Shit. Tobio groaned and shuffled over to a corner where they spent the better part of the next hour or so studying. Even if it was the last thing Tobio wanted to do, he found it was still easier to focus. And maybe it was his imagination, but Tsukishima seemed just a hair more patient with him than he had been.

By the time they had completed some sentence structure exercises, worked on pronunciation, and Tsukishima was satisfied, it was still raining. Tobio looked out the open door, protected from the torrent of rain by the small overhang of the building. The sky wasn’t even visible through the heavy fog and raindrops that filled the air and the darkness that consumed the nearby lights.

“Tch. What are we going to do now?” Tobio said.

“Tch,” was the only reply that Tsukishima gave. Tobio turned around and noticed that he was making an angry expression at his phone. Instead of speaking, he gave Tsukishima a questioning look.

“My phone’s dead,” he responded. He groaned and slid down the wall next to Tobio. He reached in his bag out of reflex, but he had forgotten his phone that day. Tsukishima had already given him a hard time about that earlier.

Tobio tried to think of a solution to their dilemma. Without his own phone, he couldn’t contact Hinata. It was unlikely that anyone was looking for them either. Hinata lived too far away to be concerned, and that was his only friend. As far as he knew, Tsukishima only had one friend too. But he didn’t know how close they were, or if Yamaguchi would notice if he was missing. Their parents might figure it out eventually.

“Guess we’ll have to wait until it stops.”

Tsukishima sighed and Tobio was resigned to accept his fate. He’d already spent nearly the entire afternoon with Tsukishima anyway. It couldn’t be too hard to spend a little more time with him. With a lack of anything else to catch his attention, Tobio grabbed a volleyball again. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, but in the end said nothing. Tobio went to a piece of the wall away from where Tsukishima was sitting and began practicing his serve.

The hollow rubber thump from the ball filled the quiet gymnasium. Each tinny bounce echoed in room and in Tobio’s chest. With the rain outside enveloping everything in a small, warm bubble, the room seemed to reverberate more. Tobio thought he could feel Tsukishima’s eyes on his back as he hit the ball, but every time he turned around Tsukishima’s eyes were closed. Maybe he was imagining it.

The ball bounced back and Tobio caught it in his hands. He considered for a moment. Now would be a good time to talk to Tsukishima, tell him how he felt. They had just spent nearly half the evening together and were stuck here without any indication as to when they would be able to leave. He put the ball on his hip as he tried to think of what he would say.

“What’s wrong?” Tsukishima said. He hadn’t moved at all, peering at Tobio from the corner of his eye.

“Nothing.” He couldn’t do it. There was no way Tsukishima felt the same way. And he didn’t want to ruin their newfound…he guessed it was friendship. He realized, with a shock, that he didn’t know anything about Tsukishima. At least, nothing that he hadn’t heard from Yamaguchi or from someone else. Tobio never talked to him. He had only ever talked to Hinata about anything other than school or volleyball.

After his two years at Kurasano it had gotten better. His inability to communicate and understand his teammates was improving so he wasn’t the “King of the Court” anymore. At least, not in the way he used to be. He was still woefully behind though. From watching Sugawara and Oikawa, one way to get close to the team was to talk to them. Something he hadn’t done a lot. If he was going to be the king of the court, he was determined that it wouldn’t be just him anymore. It would be with his whole team.

“Hey, Tsukishima?”

“Hmm?”

“What changed? Why did you start caring about volleyball?”  
  
Tsukishima’s eyes were focused on the wall across from where he sat. He was completely still, thinking. Tobio waited without saying anything and without moving, just in case it interrupted his train of thought.

“Part of it was my brother and Yamaguchi.” He looked down at his shoes while rubbing his eyes, “Part of it was the team.”

Tobio kept waiting. Tsukishima didn’t talk about himself often, and he didn’t want to interrupt him. After a long moment, it was apparent that Tsukishima wasn’t going to continue of his own accord.

“What did your brother and Yamaguchi say? What about the team?”

Tsukishima sighed. A part of Tobio felt like he should be concerned about being nosey. But, he realized that he wanted to hear about Tsukishima so much it was getting painful. He would try not to push anymore after this question. It turned out he didn’t have to though. Tsukishima talked freely.

“My brother and Yamaguchi both made me realize that volleyball wasn’t what I was making it out to be. Volleyball is for myself. Something that no one forces me to do, and something that I can make as good or as bad as I choose. Sure, maybe I can’t be as great as you or Hinata. But I definitely can’t if I don’t try either. And it’s not about competing with you guys anyway.”

Tsukishima took the liberty of explaining everything that had happened at the training camp and with his brother. How he had found out about how his brother wasn’t on the starting team for Kurasano back when the Little Giant was around. How it made him instantly hate Hinata who idolized and strove to emulate the Little Giant. How afraid that he would end up in the same position as his brother.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “As far as the team…” there as a pause and Tobio held his breath, although he wasn’t quite sure why. “After the spring tournament, when I was blocking Ushijima, I could almost feel it. Whatever it is that keeps you and Hinata going as strong as you do. I’ve been struggling with it though. I don’t understand it. All I know is that without you guys, I wouldn’t have found it. I wouldn’t have known that it existed.”

After that, Tsukishima fell silent. It was the most he had talked to Tobio ever since the day they met before the three on three match. The sad part was that Tobio wasn’t sure he had listened to the whole thing. Who knew Tsukishima could talk so much? But he was talking to him, and that in and of itself was enough to make Tobio happier than he had been all evening.

Neither one of them spoke for a long time. By this point, Tobio had joined Tsukishima as he sat down against the wall, keeping a careful distance between them. There wasn’t much to say after that story. He didn’t have anything to offer to the situation. Hell, he didn’t even know why Hinata and him were as excited as they were about volleyball. At least, not given the way Tsukishima had put it. His reasons for playing volleyball were much simpler. But Tobio wasn’t about to dwell on it. He was too busy thinking about how Tsukishima had actually confided in him.

Those were probably things that only Yamaguchi had ever heard, and maybe he had not even heard those stories in their fullest. What surprised Tobio was that it made Tsukishima seem more…human. As if Tobio could relate to him now. He wasn’t the only one struggling trying to make himself better. Besides Hinata of course, but Hinata was a given. He was too bad at volleyball not to struggle.

It was a while before Tobio noticed that Tsukishima was nodding off against the wall. His head started dipping and then snapped back up as he tried to keep himself awake. It was that motion that made Tobio realize how late it was. They had already stayed out well beyond what was normal, but the rain had kept them into the night. Probably past when Tsukishima fell asleep.

Without saying anything, Tobio stood up, trying to keep as quiet as possible. He rummaged around in his volleyball bag for a bit, finally pulling out with a sizeable towel. It wasn’t huge, but it was better than sleeping in shorts. He draped the towel over Tsukishima as he began to drift off again. The blanket looked painfully small trying to cover such a tall guy, but Tsukishima opened one sleepy eye, nodded at Tobio, and then closed his eyes again.

He wasn’t sure how long they waiting. Between Tsukishima’s rhythmic breathing and the steady fall of rain outside, Tobio lost track of time. It was all so peaceful, so tranquil. Maybe it wasn’t how he had imagined spending his tutoring sessions with Tsukishima, but it was better than he could have hoped for. They even got to play volleyball together some! And most importantly, Tobio found a way to cooperate with Tsukishima.

Headlights flashed against the opposite wall and Tobio realized someone must have noticed they were missing. It turned out to be Tsukishima’s parents, and they offered to give Tobio a ride home as well since it was still pouring rain. Tsukishima managed to make it to the car and fell asleep against the windowsill on the way home. By that point, even Tobio was starting to feel sleepy.

The ride home was quiet, even though Tsukishima’s parents had been trying to tell him how worried they were. With his eyes closed, Tsukishima explain how his phone had died, Tobio forgot his own phone, and the obvious rain prevented them from contacting anyone or walking home. It was clear from the slurring of his speech and mumbling how exhausted he was. His parents kept quiet after that and dropped Tobio off at his house before leaving.

Back at home, Tobio took a hot shower before crawling into bed, steaming up the whole bathroom in the process. He hadn’t managed to tell Tsukishima how he felt which was disappointing. Instead, he had done so much more. Right before he passed out, he texted Hinata, telling him what had happened. Then he rolled over. He failed to answer the barrage of text messages that kept his phone busy for the next thirty minutes while he was only awake for one of them.

* * *

“Hey Tsukki, are you ready?”

Kei lifted his head, half expecting to see Kageyama. He was preparing himself to chastise Kageyama for the use of that nickname. But it wasn’t Kageyama, it was Yamaguchi. He was allowed to use the nickname.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replied. By some miracle, everyone had made it to the practice match. Even Kageyama and Hinata. Tanaka was a close call this year, but they managed to catch a grading error on his exam and convinced the professor to change it so he didn’t have to go to the supplementary classes. What a bunch of idiots. And this was the group of people Kei was putting his trust in to help them win. He couldn’t believe it. Seriously, how could people that were so good at volleyball be so terrible at school?

Oh well, they were here.

“Heeeey!” The prolonged shout reverberated in the gymnasium, the voice that went with it nostalgic and welcoming. Even Kei felt happier, although he wasn’t going to show it in his expression if he could help it. Seeing as he was the closest one to the door, he braced himself for impact.

Before he had a chance to turn around to acknowledge the greeting, a hand was already roughing up his hair.

“Good to see you Tsukuhshima! Looks like these guys have gotten you to start eating more!” Sugawara said, beaming at him with his usual, graceful grin. Kei allowed himself a moment’s respite and gave a small smile in return. But, he didn’t respond. It wasn’t much of a concern, for the rest of the team had spotted Suga and were now crowding him.

Of course, Hinata and Noya were at the forefront of the gathering followed closely by Tanaka. Their shrill laughter and the sound of their excitable reunion filled the hollow space of the gym, making it seem brighter than it had a moment ago.

The pleasant atmosphere was shattered when Ushijima walked through the door next, his looming presence imposing as ever. He didn’t have to say anything to make the room fall silent in mere seconds. Tsukishima tried to stand up against it though. He had managed to block him at their last match, although more had been at stake that time. At least, tournament wise.

In the next moment, Daichi and Asahi walked through the door. Noya started screaming and almost broke his neck jumping on top of Asahi, creating a ruckus in the doorway. Why he was being so crazy, Kei didn’t know. It wasn’t like they didn’t know they were coming.

Daichi was followed by Kuroo from Nekoma, Bokuto from Fukurondani, and finally Oikawa and Iwaizumi from Aoba Joshai. All players that had graduated. It had been a coincidence, but they had all ended up in the same part of Japan together. Some for university, some for work, others to stay close to their friends. Sometimes it was due to a mixture of those reasons. They played volleyball together in their free time though. Even the ones that went to university for volleyball found the energy to play some more. Recently, they had been travelling around to all of their old schools to have matches with them on the weekends.

As soon as Oikawa walked through the door, he started exclaiming how annoying Kurasano was and how he couldn’t believe they were having a match against them. Even Ushijima blinked at how openly rude the pompous brat was being.

Kei covered his mouth and tried to keep his shoulders from shaking too much as he laughed at the situation. He didn’t have a clue what Kurasano was like now. This was going to be great.

“Hey, dumbass! Quit laughing at get your head in the game!” Kageyama shouted, breaking up the welcome party. Hinata turned, but even Kei knew that Hinata hadn’t been laughing. He’d been happily chatting with their old teammates.

Then he realized that Kageyama was addressing him.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me!” Kageyama had lunged forward to grab the collar of Kei’s shirt in an attempt to be intimidating. It was still amusing to watch people who were shorter than him try to talk down to him, even if it was serious this time. “I worked my ass off to get here so don’t you dare lose your cool now!”

At first, Kei was confused. They had been getting along so well. Better than he had ever wanted them to get along if he was being honest with himself. Having Kageyama too close turned out to be unnerving. Then he heard the bratty Oikawa start boasting about how “Tobio-chan” must not have changed at all. How he was, after all this time, still a shitty king of his own shitty team. That it must have been Daichi who kept him in line.

Oh.

“Where’s Yachi? Did you scare her off already?” Suga asked, in an attempt to change the subject. Kageyama released Kei, still glaring at him. If Kei was better at acting, he might have tried to help him out. As it stood, he was unprepared for the backlash that had come with playing against the team comprised of their old rivals. Everyone else had been focused on seeing their beloved teammates. Kageyama had been worried about someone else.

“Nah, she’s been sick for a while,” Hinata replied. And just like that, everyone stopped focusing on Kageyama’s outburst and began catching up again. Bokuto and Kuroo wasted no time in finding Kei.

“Hey, bro! How’s it hanging,” Bokuto said.

“Yeah, looks like you’ve been having an excellent time getting along with that setter of yours.” Kuroo said, making sure it was just loud enough that Kageyama, who was walking away, could still hear him.

Kei chose to ignore Kuroo’s comment and gave the two a wry smile, “I’ve been alright.” He could see the flash of recognition in Kuroo’s eyes. He’d forgotten how perceptive Kuroo was, even without getting to know much about Kei. Kuroo could recognize when he wasn’t telling the truth. Of course, given recent events, no one had any reason to believe Kei and Kageyama were getting along well. With any luck, they’d be able to show them. Assuming Kageyama was OK.

He had to admit though, even he was intimidated by the college team comprised of their older team members and rivals. Kei just hadn’t seen it affect Kageyama up until that point. Not like that.

Hinata managed to slip away, following Kageyama out of the gymnasium. He didn’t want to feel jealous, by all rights he shouldn’t be jealous. But it still pricked at Kei’s chest and made him clench his teeth for a moment. Kei and Kageyama might have been closer than they had been last year, but they weren’t anywhere near a level where he expected Kageyama to confide in him. And he shouldn’t want that to begin with!

It had been surprising how comfortable he had felt telling Kageyama everything that night in the gym together. Kei chalked it up to exhaustion and not having all of his mental facilities available though.

In time, everyone finished greeting each other and Kageyama rejoined the rest of the team. Neither of them looked directly at each other, but Kei kept his attention on Kageyama, trying to decide whether or not he was going to be alright.

Coach Ukai said a few words. Hinata and Kageyama started shaking in anticipation. The third years grinned at each other with Tanaka and Noya being more obnoxious than the rest and the new first years looked lost, as usual. Yamaguchi assumed his usual position next to Kei for the whole pep talk. At one point, he gave Kei a concerned look which Kei brushed off with shake of his head. It wasn’t anything Yamaguchi should be concerned about.

Before he knew it, they were on the court again. The starting line-up placed Kei on Kageyama’s left instead of his right. Suga and Daichi were painstakingly confused by the lineup, but Kei was determined not to give anything away. He kept his expression as deadpan and bored as possible. Most of the other team thought he was uninterested in this game anyway, and so far he hadn’t done anything to lead them to believe otherwise. This wasn’t the match against Shitorizawa.

No, this was more. This was a match against their past selves and everything they had failed to do when they were working their way up the ranks in the spring tournament. It was a match against Shitorizawa and Nekoma and Fukurondani and Aoba Joshai. Everyone they had ever lost or fought against combined to form one, horrifying, college-aged team.

Tsukishima wanted more than anything to beat them.

Once the game started, it took them a while to calm down and get into a groove. The first set was nothing short of a disaster. Oikawa wouldn’t. _stop. talking._ and Kageyama was getting more and more anxious. Hinata was trying to help. He asked Kageyama why he was so worried, if he was afraid of “The Grand King” again. It wasn’t helping this time though. Kageyama never answered the questions, and he started slipping away from the rest of the team. There wasn’t an opportunity to use their new attack, even if they hadn’t been saving it.

Then Kageyama started getting worse. Hissing at Hinata for spiking poorly, grumbling about how Tanaka wasn’t fast enough, and it finally culminated in him yelling at Kei for missing a block. Oikawa was eating it up.

It was crystal clear to Kei why Oikawa was being particularly obnoxious today. He was still bitter about their defeat in the spring tournament and the subsequent win of Kurasano against Shitorizawa. Coach Ukai called for a time out.

“Guy what on earth…” but he didn’t get to finish his sentence. Enough was enough.

“Kageyama, what the hell!” Kei found himself whispering in anger as he tried to keep his voice down.

“Why are you asking me that? I’m not the only one struggling!” But he was. He just didn’t want to accept it. Kei felt the anger start to spill out of every pore in his body. How could Kageyama be so STUPID?! The stunt Kageyama had pulled earlier flashed behind his eyes and Kei grabbed Kageyama’s collar with both hands, nearly suspending him in the air.

“Can’t you see?” He hissed. Every ounce of him wanted to scream, but more than that he didn’t want the other team to notice his outburst. “Oikawa is _jealous_ of you! He’s _trying_ to get a rise out of you!”

Kageyama’s eyes stared straight into Kei’s own. Hungry. Desperate for that to be true. Then a flicker of doubt overcast all his hope.

“How would you know?”

“Because I was him! I used to be jealous of you! I used to say things to put you down all the time! I’m _still_ jealous!” but he didn’t say what he was jealous of now. “Ignore him! He’s not worth it!” The rest of the team murmured their consent and Kei lowered Kageyama to the ground. He was refusing to look at Kei now.

Maybe Kageyama wouldn’t believe it himself yet. He likely needed time to digest that, but for now it was enough to make him see the game more clearly. Enough to get his head back in the game. They couldn’t get back the points with the time remaining the first set, but it gave them a head start for the second set.

Kageyama was starting to develop a rhythm by the end of the first set, and the rest of the team fell in line. Hinata was still scoring plenty of points, but so was Kei. Between Hinata’s developing comfort with feints and Kei’s prolific use of them and the time differentials, they were proficient at confusing the other team. Plus, their “newfound” teamwork turned out to be a great tool. Oikawa wasn’t being quite as loud about his boasting anymore. When he did say something, the rest of the team contradicted it, and they all started flowing better.

They won the second set with relative ease and weren’t forced to use their final weapon. Suga and Daichi, in spite of their determination, still looked confused about their old team’s dynamics. Kageyama and Kei hadn’t been particularly friendly towards each other the whole match, but they also weren’t ignoring each other either. Something was up, but they didn’t know what. And Kei could tell.

The third set was neck in neck, both teams giving it their all. Ushijima was still struggling to spike the ball wherever he pleased. A fact that was boosting Kei’s confidence to no end. Someone, and not just anybody, the best spiker in their division, had remembered Kei. And he was now was wary of his blocking. Kei managed to trick Daichi with a feint once or twice too, but then he caught back up with the old times and they weren’t as effective. Hinata’s quick strikes were still impossible to block, but their old team members knew how to receive it. They still scored several points with those though, especially since his range of techniques was getting larger. Once or twice Bokuto let out a squawk of surprise at a feint from Hinata, to which anyone who knew their history got a good laugh. The game would have been fun if it weren’t for one thing.

Oikawa was starting to get irritating again.

“Tobio-chaaaan, looks like you still can’t keep up with me! Your spikers are better but you’re not bringing out the best in them.”

“He doesn’t know that. He hasn’t seen our new technique.”

“Tobiooo-chaaan, your jump serves still aren’t controlled.”

“He missed two of his own this match already. Don’t listen to him.”

“Tobiooo, how come you haven’t forced Chibi-chan to learn how to receive?”

That was when Kei had had it.

“ _Tch_.” He made the sound clear and sharp, ensuring that Kageyama heard it. It was their signal to use the left handed spike. The score was tied twenty two to twenty two. Now was the perfect time to do their new technique that they had yet to reveal to the other team. No one would be expecting it. No one.

Tobio glanced at him from the corner of his eye, then returned his gaze to the net. He’d heard it. On the other side of the court, Suga was watching them closely, although it was apparent he had no idea what was going on. Maybe he could tell that they didn’t hate each other as much as it appeared that day or as much as they used to. Beyond that though, Kei could see that Suga was trying to determine what he should be expecting as he was in the rear guard receiving.

Sorry, Suga. This was for the new team.

The volley began with Tanaka’s serve. They just had to block or receive Ushijima or Iwaizumi’s serve and they’d be given a chance.

Daichi received the ball, returning it to Oikawa. Kei ran simulations through his head, looking for any sort of tell that Oikawa might give to help him figure out where he was serving beforehand. A gut instinct, or maybe it was some slight shift in Oikawa’s body that his brain was registering faster than he was, said Ushijima. Kei waited until the set, signaling to Kageyama that he thought the ball was going towards Ushijima on the left in the meantime.

Oikawa set the ball to Ushijima, and Kei’s goal set itself, the same as in their match in the spring. Block so that he either is forced to spike to Noya, or get a one touch. It was too good of a set to block completely. That might change with the next volley though.

The spike came, and both of them were there. Blood pounded in Kei’s head as he formed a wall with Kageyama to block out Ushijima. His feet bounded off the ground and he was floating. If Ushijima was surprised after all this time, he still didn’t show it. The spike came down, and Kei focused all of his energy towards his fingertips, feeling them pull him upwards towards the sky and the down to stop the ball. Broken fingers be damned.

Ushijima chose the easier route and spiked towards Noya who received it with expert precision. Kei breathed as he fell back towards the ground and prepared to position himself for the set. The rest of the team did their job, Hinata acted as a decoy, pulling two of the blockers towards him. Tanaka and Ennoshita were in the wings as back up. Ready to act however their team needed. And Kageyama tossed the ball.

Kei jumped again, this time, his center propelled him upwards. The feeling in his gut rising with his own spirits. This was the moment they had been waiting for. He raised his left hand as high as it would go.

He didn’t have the clairvoyance Hinata did when he spiked the ball, and Kei still couldn’t see the details of what was happening on the other side of the net. But he saw the most important thing. In the split second before he hit the ball, Oikawa’s eyes widened and he looked the perfect picture of soon to be defeated arrogance.

The moment the ball was spiked, Kei released a breath. There was one blocker to get past, Kuroo of all people. While his non-dominant hand wasn’t anywhere near as strong as his right, he had been prepared for that. It was a calculated situation. Spiking with his left hand wasn’t useful because it was stronger. It was useful because it was unexpected and difficult to handle. He spiked it to the side and the ball ricocheted off of Kuroo’s hand. A block out.

Kuroo stared at Kei from the other side of the net, as did the rest of the team. On their side though, Kei’s own team was losing their minds.

“It worked! Holy hell, I can’t believe it worked!” Hinata shouted.

“Way to go, Tsukishima! Did you see that?!” Tanaka joined in.

Hinata’s and Noya’s voices combined in a prolonged “YEAAAAHHHH!!!”

Kei gave the other team a wry smile, and Kageyama bent forward, pumping his fists and yelling at his own success. As Kei gloated to Kuroo who stood baffled, a flicker of movement caught his attention.

Kageyama had turned towards him and was holding both of his arms in the air. The rest of their team had gone silent. On the other side of the net, the opposing team still hadn’t moved. Kageyama was holding up his hands for a high five, and it was directed at Kei, of all people.

He took one last look at the other team. Suga was smiling. At least he understood that they were working together now. However, Oikawa had replaced the initial shock of the left handed spike with his usual, overconfident smirk. He still thought Kei and Kageyama weren’t getting along then. That wouldn’t do.

Without a moment more of hesitation, Kei bypassed Kageyama’s high five. Instead, he closed the space between them and embraced Kageyama in a full frontal hug. Everyone else on his team erupted in cheers so loud, it was hurting his ears. Even Suga and Daichi and Asahi were screaming. But it didn’t matter. Out of the corner of his eye, Oikawa was pouting. Damn straight, asshole.

It took a long moment for Kageyama to react. His initial response was to tense up, but soon he relaxed and was patting Kei on the back. Two sharp pats, and that was all. They broke the hug, and Kageyama offered a short compliment. “Good job.”

It only seemed fair for Kei to put the nails in Oikawa’s arrogance coffin. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Kageyama gave him a terse nod, and it was back to business. With Oikawa completely shattered, it wasn’t difficult to get the last two points. One point came from Kei kill blocking Ushijima’s spike thanks to Oikawa’s poor set. The last point, as it should have been, was from Hinata’s freak quick. As it should have been.

Afterwards, both teams broke down the barriers that had separated them during the game and joined each other for a dinner at the local barbeque pit. Oikawa sat off in a corner with Iwaizumi and continued to talk crap about their team. Iwaizumi eventually got tired of listening to him complain about how much he hated Kageyama. The best part of the dinner was when Iwaizumi snapped and punched Oikawa in the stomach, shouting at him to shut up.

Hinata had chosen to sit with Suga and the rest of their old team members. He was next to Kageyama still, but Kageyama also sat next to Kei. Both of them sat across from Ushijima, and of course Kuroo and Bokuto. Both of whom were being as overbearing as they had been the last time he’d seen them.

Ushijima was turning out to be more decent than he appeared. Although, when he did talk, it was about either “the shrimp” or Oikawa. Both of which he found annoying apparently. Hinata was offended, and Kei had to restrain Kageyama from standing up in his defense. He did talk to Kei and Kageyama about the game some though.

“You spiked with your left hand on in that last round,” Ushijima’s voice was low and proud.

“Yeah, well, after I hurt my hand in the match against you guys, it seemed like a good solution. Plus, it’s excellent for adding confusion.” He smirked. That technique was exactly the sort of attack Kei enjoyed. The kind that messed with the opponent’s head.

“I can see that. I was wondering, do you think I should try spiking with my right hand too?”

Kei didn’t have a chance to respond before Kageyama cut in with a sharp, “No.” Ushijima looked confused for a moment, but Kei had to agree. It wasn’t going to work the same for him, especially since people expected right handed spikes. Ushijima would have to find a different way to evolve.

As the evening wore on, Kei became simultaneously more comfortable and more unnerved. With the way things were looking, he was going to have to deal with this accidental little crush he seemed to have developed for Kageyama. Not now though. For now, everything was perfect and he didn’t want to change anything.


	2. Confident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their practice match with Kurasano, Oikawa is feeling down and Suga tries to cheer him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are....a chapter I didn't expect to be writing....[throws my hands in the air] who even knows where this is going anymore amirite! This chapter is "Confident" by Demi Lovato. For reasons...
> 
> Actually, I have an overarching plan, but I never trust myself to continue stuff like this. I would like to, but we'll see.
> 
> Also, if you're reading this now, I'm going to be editing this chapter in the near future, so you might just want to wait. I realized that having a non-linear timeline when I'm going to be switching pov like this is just going to make it more confusing, for me and you. So maybe hold off, I'm just going to change the last section though.

Koushi inhaled the smell of marinating meat, sautéed vegetables, and the staple rice aroma that was the background smell of nearly all barbeque restaurants. The place they were eating at had a warm and welcoming atmosphere, and the company excellent. Daichi and Asahi were carrying on with their old teammates, Bokuto and Kuroo were antagonizing Tsukishima and Hinata from across the table, and even Iwaizumi and Ushijima were talking to their old rivals. Although, Koushi wasn’t sure how well they were getting along. At one point it looked like Kageyama and Hinata were going to fight Ushijima, but the situation was quelled by Tsukishima.

He almost couldn’t imagine having a better time with everyone from his old team at Kurasano and their new rag tag team of some of the best volleyball player of his year. The whole table was smiling and laughing…all except one.

Oikawa was sulking in the corner. Iwaizumi had finally gotten irritated enough to stop paying attention to him. Normally, Iwaizumi was a reliable friend for Oikawa, so it was concerning to Koushi. Sure, there was some playful banter, but Iwaizumi had never given up on him. This time though, it seemed that Oikawa had gone too far.

He had been teasing Kageyama mercilessly during the match. So much so that Koushi himself had almost said something to put a stop to it. Luckily, Kageyama’s and Tsukishima’s new friendship shut him up well enough. Even if Tsukishima was being a tad cruel. When faced with someone like Oikawa, especially when he was acting like that, Koushi couldn’t say he would have been very nice either.

Ok, maybe he would be nice…but he could understand where Tsukishima was coming from too.

For Tsukishima to stand up for Kageyama like that though, that surprised Koushi. He had wanted them to get along, but he hadn’t imagined that they could ever get along that well. Koushi made a mental note to ask him what had happened later on.

In the corner, Oikawa continued to stare daggers out of the window. Not even daggers, dagger was too tame for that gaze. It was more like he was trying to raise a new volcano out of the sea or summon an asteroid to land in Tokyo and destroy everything in sight. He stayed like that the entire meal. Koushi tried to avoid paying attention to it, glancing over on occasion to check up on Oikawa. He wasn’t sure he could say the right thing to ease the situation. If someone interacted with Oikawa right now, the best outcome would be a shouting match. The worst would be showing him sympathy and encouraging the behavior. Koushi doubted anyone would do the latter though. In fact, Koushi was the most likely the only person in the room to be worried about Oikawa right then.

Leaving him alone was the last thing Koushi wanted to do. However, until Oikawa calmed down and was thinking straight again, it was pointless to try and talk to him. At least, Koushi tried to tell himself that. Daichi began to ask if Koushi was alright, but he brushed it off saying he was thinking.

Unfortunately, given the car situation, it would be hard to ignore. Koushi and Daichi drove most of the team, as usual. Oikawa was riding in Koushi’s car. On top of that, Koushi’s other regular passengers tended to fall asleep after games on the ride back. Bokuto had a tendency to pass out almost immediately upon sitting down, and without a friend to start gabbing with, Kuroo would pass out soon afterwards. More than once he had fallen asleep on top of Bokuto. Iwaizumi also fell asleep after games, which had been a bit surprising at first, but Oikawa assured Koushi it was normal.

That left him with a full car and only Oikawa to talk to.

Most of the time, chatting with Oikawa wasn’t so bad. He was friendly enough and enjoyed making small talk. Plus it was entertaining when Oikawa took pictures of Kuroo sleeping on top of Bokuto. It made the long car rides faster.

They often had in depth conversations in the car on the rides from their games. The two of them talked about pets they had, pets they wanted in the future, their favorite foods, people they liked or disliked, things they were afraid of and things they wanted to accomplish. They had more in common that Koushi had expected, but they didn’t always agree on everything

One of their conversations had been about some of their best trips as children and some of the worst. Koushi had told Oikawa about the time his family took him to an amusement park and how much he loved the rollercoaster. Turned out Oikawa hated rollercoasters. He had been on one once when he was younger after eating a whole loaf of milk bread and he had thrown up as soon as the ride was over. Oikawa’s favorite vacations had been to the beach and relaxing in the water. Koushi had been hesitant to explain that he wasn’t a fan of the ocean, but Oikawa was curious. Pools were not a problem, but the deep expanses of the sea unsettled him, especially after watching Jaws as a kid. He didn’t really believe a giant shark was going to eat him now, but it still made him uneasy.

They may not have agreed, but they were respectful to each other and in general got along well. On any other day, Koushi looked forward to their long talks.

Today wasn’t like that though. Today, while Bokuto, Iwaizumi, and Kuroo were snoring in the backseat, Oikawa continued to sulk. Koushi could almost feel the heat from his resentment rolling in waves off his back.

Koushi wanted to comfort Oikawa, but he didn’t know what to say. Maybe he could help him think things through…ignoring it was becoming progressively more difficult as they drove on. The sky darkened around them and the stars beginning to twinkle on the horizon…it was too quiet.

“Wanna talk about it?” Koushi asked.

“What is there to talk about?” Oikawa grumbled, shooting Koushi a seething glare. It took more effort than he was willing to admit for Koushi to prevent himself from taking the look personally. Oikawa wasn’t mad at him. He was mad at Kageyama, and Koushi was just getting the brunt of his misdirected anger. He could handle it…he hoped.

“Umm…well…what was going on at the game today? Why were you so upset?”

All he got in response was more grumbling into the window. Koushi decided to drop the topic. They drove in uncomfortable silence for a long time, the glow of the clock pulling Koushi’s gaze every now and then to see how much time had passed. After a while of contemplating and worrying that Oikawa was angry with him, which he wasn’t, Koushi realized the radio wasn’t on. That would help with the unbearable quiet and the foul mood.

As soon as he reached for the power button, Oikawa went off.

“What the hell do I have to do to stay ahead of Tobio-chan? I’ve been working my ass off here and I feel like I’ve just been spinning my wheels. We should have won that game without any problem! We’ve got the top spikers from the surrounding areas, some of the best blockers I’ve ever seen, and then me as the setter. Not to mention most of them were captains! We should be the best team to exist yet we haven’t beaten a single school we’ve visited yet! Why do we suck so badly?!” his ranting grew more feeble and high pitched towards the end.

Koushi let a small giggle escape as Oikawa was blabbering on. He regretted making the noise the instant it escaped his mouth, but Oikawa didn’t seem bothered by it.

Given the specific manner of his poor behavior that afternoon, Koushi knew that wasn’t the only reason Oikawa was upset. It might be a piece of the explanation, but he seemed to be jealous of Kageyama’s newfound friendship with the people he hadn’t gotten along with before. Something Oikawa was having a hard time doing now. Koushi wasn’t about to push that line of reasoning yet. Oikawa was going to have to figure it out on his own, or he’d just argue and dig in his heels and stay mad.

“Maybe we just need practice together more. We only get a few weekends here and there, plus not everyone is cooperating like a team. Give it some time. We’ll figure it out,” Koushi said. He was going for encouraging, and it seemed to work somewhat. Oikawa relaxed a little, sulking a tad less than he had been, but still pouting. At least Suga had the confirmation that Oikawa wasn’t angry at him, no matter how ridiculous that fear was.

The road stretched out before them, carrying the sleeping passengers, Oikawa, and Koushi home after a long day of driving, volleyball, eating, and then driving again.

“How do you stay so positive all the time? Isn’t it exhausting?” Oikawa asked. Koushi sure hoped Oikawa wasn’t sounding so rude on purpose.

“Ahh, I’m not sure. I just want to see my teammates and friends be happy. One of the things I’ve learned is that people mirror my own mood. When I’m happy, it has a tendency to spread. Whenever I’m sad or angry though, it’s infectious. It’s not something people pick up on consciously, but it’s something I’ve noticed.” He thought about it a bit more before continuing, “I don’t want to be a burden. Even if it goes unnoticed.”

“You’re not a burden, Suga,” Oikawa sighed, “You’re anything but.” It was amazing that while they were talking about this phenomenon it seemed to be occurring right before Koushi’s eyes. Oikawa didn’t seem to notice, but he was less angry now, feeding off of Koushi’s content.

“I…well I try hard so I would hope not.”

“You don’t need to try though. Everyone likes you. Why don’t you have more confidence in yourself?”

Koushi considered the question for a while. He had never really thought confidence was that important. It had only ever let him down in the past. There had been no doubt in his mind that going to Kurasano would help bring him to the top of the volleyball world, but he’d been incorrect. Being positive and working hard had only helped so much when they didn’t have a proper coach. Confidence wasn’t what helped them regain their glory. In the end, it had been their new teammates.

“I just don’t think it’s worth it.”

“Worth it?! What’s wrong with being confident?” Oikawa asked with a sneer that ruined his pretty face.

“Confidence itself isn’t bad. The problem is there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance,” Suga replied. There was a snort of derision from Oikawa.

“Confidence is everything! You can make people believe or do anything if you don’t give them the opportunity to question you! No one else knows what they’re doing anyway, they just fake it. Walk down the street like you’re going to kill a man, not you WANT to kill a man, you ARE GOING to kill a man, and people will throw themselves out of your way.”

“But what about what the people on the street? What if I scare them?”

“You’re too damn nice for your own good. What if you need something? Desperately need something. What if your grandmother was dying and the streets were too crowded to move? Would you do it then?”

Koushi considered the scenario again. It occurred to him that Oikawa could throw out any random event that would make Koushi desperate to accomplish a goal. Even so, he didn’t think he would do that anyway. Not when he could ask people to move.

“It’s not like shouting and being angry at people would help me get there any faster, plus I would feel guilty if I upset anyone.”

“Your grandmother is dying and still not going to force people to get out of your way?” Oikawa was waving his hands around showing how exasperated he was.

“I can’t know what kind of day the people are having if I just run them over. It’s like that saying goes, ‘Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.’”

“They can be kind to you too…” Oikawa mumbled, pressing his forehead against the windowsill again. Suga placed a hand on his back in comfort, hoping he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. It wasn’t worth fighting over, they just had different priorities.

“You’re a much better person than I am…” Oikawa said, a hint of bitterness in his voice now that caused Suga to withdraw his hand.

“Not…not better. More considerate of others maybe. But, I put a lot of focus on that. It’s important to me.” There was a long pause before Oikawa responded.

“I did a bad thing today, didn’t I…” it was more of a statement than a question. Suga responded anyway.

“A little bit, but I think it turned out alright.” thanks to Tsukishima.

“We lost again,” Oikawa said, pouting now.

“Well, it’s like I said, we just have to learn to work together. You and Ushijima especially.”

Oikawa’s only response was to glare and not so subtly change the topic of conversation. “Tobio-chan looks happy,” he said, pursing his lips.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“ _No_ ,” Oikawa said, bumping his head on the window and squeezing his eyes shut.

* * *

“No, Suga. I’m asking what YOU want to do,” Tooru said, stomping his feet and clenching his fists at his sides. Suga wasn’t going to win this time, and that was that. Tooru was going to MAKE Suga tell them what he wanted to do for his own birthday or so help him.

Iwa-chan stared at Tooru like he had three heads and Daichi looked downright terrified. Suga had already told them that he was fine with doing something that everyone else wanted to do. It was a bad habit of his. Of course Iwa-chan wasn’t exactly the perceptive type, so he hadn’t noticed the trend. What surprised Tooru was that Daichi couldn’t see that Suga was just being nice.

“I mean, I don’t have any preferences! That movie sounds like a good plan! I can’t think of anything better myself…”

“Wait, you don’t know what you want? You _have_ to want something at least a little!”

“I don’t often give it a whole lot of thought in all honesty. Not unless I really need something.” Of course he didn’t. Suga was just that kind of person.

Tooru squinted at Suga for a long time, finally rolling his eyes in frustration. He would hate it more if Tooru himself didn’t need someone exactly like Suga every once in a while. Someone who gave into Tooru’s own selfish desires with a grin, but only when he deserved or needed it. Even before their match with Kurasano, Tooru couldn’t sleep and had called Suga because he knew Suga wouldn’t mind. Well…he probably did mind, but he wasn’t going to complain and make Tooru feel guilty. It was exactly that line of reasoning that made Tooru begin to understand why Suga was the way he was. Because he knew people appreciated and needed it.

Suga didn’t seem to understand was that he needed someone else to be that person for him, more than anyone. Whether he could figure that out for himself or not was another story.

It was Suga’s birthday for crying out loud! How could he not know what he wanted to do? Or not care? He was LITERALLY born for this day and Suga still wasn’t going to take advantage of it! Suga might be nice, but he was too nice for his own good. Tooru racked his brain for all of the things he knew Suga liked, Daichi and Iwa-chan watching him but not bothering to argue. There must be something Suga wanted to do.

It finally came to Tooru. The reason why Suga was being so stiff about his own birthday.

“Alright, I know where we’re going. We’ll have to go get everyone’s swimsuits.”

“Huh? Where are we going?” Suga’s eyes had gone wild with fear. “Oikawa…”

“It’s a secret…” Tooru said. Suga had better enjoy what Tooru was about to do…He whispered his plan to Daichi and Iwa-chan. Iwa-chan didn’t have any input and shrugged a yes. Daichi nodded his approval, a small smile starting to form on him mouth as they hatched their plan.

“What? You have to tell me at least!” Suga whined.

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh come on! It’s too late for a surprise.”

“It’s not a surprise. I’m not telling you because if I do you’ll flat out refuse…” Tooru cut the discussion off, giving Suga a look that said _no arguing_. A part of him didn’t want Suga to be so trusting and wanted him to continue questioning where they were going. For all Suga knew they could be going to the ocean to throw him in and leave. Actually…that didn’t sound like an awful idea at the moment, given how stubborn Suga was being.

The other part of Tooru knew he was right. Suga wasn’t telling them what he wanted to do because he _knew_ not everyone would enjoy it.

Tooru drove everyone to pick up their swimsuits and then they left town on the highway. Since it was just the four of them, and it was a glorious day outside, they had taken Tooru’s convertible. The whole ride Tooru blasted pop music since they couldn’t hear each other with the top down anyway. Besides, Suga looked like he was enjoying the ride at least, shouting along to the music. Tooru joined the happy shouting, although Iwa-chan and Diachi stayed quiet. It couldn’t really be called singing when they were struggling to be heard over the wind whipping past them anyway.

Every now and then, Suga shot Tooru a raised eyebrows asking where they were going. He didn’t look afraid though, which Tooru thanked silently. Maybe Suga wasn’t the best marker, but at least someone on their team trusted Tooru. Besides Iwa-chan that is.

When they pulled of the highway, Suga seemed to figure out where they were going. He gave Tooru a worried look, knitting his eyebrows together and frowning. In response Tooru smiled, trying to communicate that everything was alright and he knew what he was doing. Suga accepted it and broke out into a huge smile, laughing out loud. Daichi stuck his head over Suga’s shoulder giving him a hug from the back seat.

Suga turned the radio down, now they weren’t driving so fast and he could be heard. “I see why you wouldn’t tell me! You’re right I would have refused,” he shouted over the wind, but he was smiling. Tooru smiled back. Of course he was right.

As they drew closer to the front of the parking lot, the sounds of screaming and the clatter of rollercoasters started to make Tooru feel uneasy. It had been a long time since he had been to an amusement park.

Whatever doubts he was having were blown away when Suga popped out of the car without opening the door. He looked happier than a bird with a French fry. Seeing him smile so bright and earnestly made Tooru’s heart rise up in his chest. He could do this.

So what if the last time Tooru rode a rollercoaster he had thrown up in front of a crowd after getting off? Suga looked like he was going to have the time of his life.

Once they were inside the park, Suga was failing to contain his excitement, cheering and laughing at the smallest noise. All he had needed was a polite shove. They were his friends, of course they wanted to do something he enjoy on his birthday. As long as Tooru wasn’t forced to get on any rollercoasters that is…ok fine, maybe just one…for Suga’s sake. Just don’t eat too much milk bread beforehand…or anything at all…ever again…

They agreed that Suga should make the decisions as to where they should go. The first thing Suga asked to do was to go ride the bumper cars, then the Farris Wheel…then the Egg Scrambler. And then the merry-go-round for Christ’s sake Suga! He was doing it again…sacrificing his own desires for the sake of the group.

“Suga stop that, we’re not going to play carnival games now.”

“What? Why? I thought this was my day!” Suga said. If his expression wasn’t so damn innocent Tooru might have strangled him.

“We’re going on a rollercoaster,” Tooru said, pushing Suga from behind and marching him towards the closest ride. There wasn’t much of a struggle from Suga. Daichi and Iwaizumi jogged to catch up after falling a few steps behind them in the sudden change of plans.

“Aren’t we doing what Suga wants to do?” Iwaizumi asked, rolling his eyes at Tooru. At least he could count on Iwa-chan to be honest when he was going overboard. This wasn’t one of those times though.

“This is what Suga wants to do, he’s just won’t admit it because he knows I don’t like rollercoasters,” Tooru said. He could hear Suga’s weak laugh in front of him.

What hurt the most was that Suga honestly believed he would rather do anything else except the rollercoaster just because it would make his friends happy. That just because Tooru had had a bad experience with rollercoasters in the past meant he didn’t want to ride one again. Not even if it was to celebrate one of his friend’s birthday.

One of his closest friends.

As they waited in the long line for the rollercoaster, they listened to each wave of people scream upon reaching the big corkscrew at the end of the ride. Tooru tried to tell himself that everything was going to be alright. He hadn’t eaten anything since they arrived, plus he was older and should be able to tolerate more. It was bound to be better this time. He made easy conversation with the other three to distract himself from the noises. They discussed the water slides they would try later when they had worn out all the dry activities, that ridiculously large stuffed dog they all wanted to win, and the park food they wanted to eat …

Ok, Tooru ignored the conversation about the food. Or tried to.

It took a while, but they were finally at the front of the line, deciding which rows to get in. Suga, to Tooru’s surprise, asked to sit next to him. The four of them continued talking over the bars, and they did so until they were next in line. Daichi and Iwaizumi looked excited, staring at the entrance where the next set of cars would come through. Tooru was trying to focus on not being nervous.

In the lull between the last car leaving, and the next car arriving, Suga slapped him on the back with a huge grin, “Where’s all that confidence you’re always going on about?” For whatever reason, Suga’s sense humor made him feel just a little less nervous.

“I hate that you know exactly what to say to make me feel better, Mr. Refreshing…” Tooru said. Suga’s smile only got larger. The next cars clattered to a stop in front of them.

They strapped in, and Tooru kept fiddling with the seat belt to make sure it was tight, trying to push the harness down further so he couldn’t move. Now that they were sitting down and physically restrained, it was hard to get his heart to calm down. A moment ago, he felt great, and now he was right back to fretting.

“Want to hold my hand?” Suga asked. It was childish, and Tooru didn’t want to be that guy.

He also didn’t want to ride this ride alone…He grabbed Suga’s hand without word, focusing on the tracks in front of him instead. The cars started moving with a jolt and they were carried upwards into the sky. Tooru was holding his breath as if it would prevent anything bad from happening, keeping his eyes straight on the lines of metal in front of him.

“Oh look! I can see my house from here!” Suga said. Tooru looked around out of instinct before rolling his eyes.

“No you can’t…”

“Hmm, you’re right. But I _can_ see your ego back down in the parking lot.” Suga said, laughing. Tooru let go of his hand to smack him in the shoulder. The loss of contact was short lived. In that brief moment if felt like there wasn’t enough keeping Tooru from falling off the ride. He scrambled to take a hold of Suga’s hand again.

Now that he had looked out once, it wasn’t so hard to do a second time. Tooru sat in awe of how amazing the view was. It was such a pretty day, and he could see over all the treetops and into the clear blue sky.

They reached the peak of the rollercoaster, suspended over the entire park. Tooru took a deep breath to prepare himself before they plummeted back down to the ground.

It took him a moment, to get over the initial fear of being thrown by a large machine toward the earth, but after a set of bumps and loops Tooru was…enjoying himself. The wind whipped at his face, filling his nostrils with cool air. Whatever was happening, it felt great because it was happening all at once.

Tooru was just starting to get a feel for the ride, and that’s when he saw the corkscrew in front of them. It was unavoidable, but he leaned back in an attempt to slow the ride down. As they glided through the tight turns, Tooru could feel his sides and head being squeezed from the pressure. His blood pounded in his head and he felt like someone had poured caffeine straight into his blood stream. Then, the pressure released.

The ride began to slow down and Tooru wasn’t sure what had happened, but he needed more of it. Now. They pulled into the launching station where the next crowd of people were waiting for their turn on the ride. It finally registered that Tooru was still holding Suga’s hand and he let go. When they stepped off the ride, he could still feel the sensation of flying through the air and he realized he wanted to go again.

Grabbing Suga’s elbow, Tooru took off down the ramp for the next ride. He should have felt guilty that he was now leading the charge instead of Suga. But Suga’s light laugh told Tooru that he couldn’t have chosen anything better. They rode several other rollercoaster until the speed and adrenaline started giving everyone headaches. Each time, Tooru sat next to Suga so he could continue holding his hand. It might be fun, but he wasn’t ready to let go of his safety net.

Afterwards, they spent some time playing the carnival games. They all tried the High Striker, but only Iwaizumi and Daichi were able to hit the disk hard enough to ring the bell on top. Then they played one of those games where squirting water into the target made the plastic horses race faster. Suga and Tooru were tied for first place most of the way, but Tooru won out in the end. Then they reached the game with the large dog they had talked about winning, Shooting Hoops.

Both Iwaizumi and Daichi made one or two baskets, but it wasn’t enough to win the large prize. They needed to make all three. Tooru let Suga go next. This game should be a cinch, especially since it was obvious how the parks made the game more difficult than it seemed.

When Suga threw the first ball, it bounced off the front of the hoop. That struck Tooru as odd. They both had excellent precision when tossing a volleyball, especially considering they were used to doing it under more stressful conditions. How had Suga missed? When he threw the next ball Tooru kept his eyes on Suga’s form and watched the ball when it bounced off the front of the hoop again. It wasn’t that Suga’s tosses were bad. It was that he was tossing the ball as if the basket was completely round.

Before Suga threw his third and final ball, Tooru tapped on his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

Suga’s eyes widened in shock. He didn’t have a clue the game was rigged. Of course, when he threw the ball the next time, it swished straight through the net.

“Oh wow! I got it! Thanks, Oikawa!”

Next, it should have been Tooru’s turn. He was the only one who hadn’t gone. But now that he was there, he didn’t feel much like showing off anymore. It wasn’t fair. The game had tricked Suga and that was the only reason he hadn’t won the prize. It wasn’t from a lack of skill, and Tooru _hated_ that. Hated that people could get away with taking advantage of him like that. Instead of taking his turn, he insisted that Suga go again.

“What? Don’t you want a turn too?”

“Look, we both know I could win that prize easily. And I know that you could win the prize easily. I want to see you do it! You’re a set…” Tooru stopped midsentence. Suga was a setter too…of course…

“Oikawa?”

“Ahh, it’s nothing! Just win that prize!” he said, using the fluttery voice he used when he wanted something. Suga didn’t argue any more, which made Tooru pleased and pissed off at the same time. All three shots went straight through the hoop. They had to make a trip to the car to put the prize away so they wouldn’t have to lug it around the park.

By that point, it was nearly lunch time, and they went to eat before going to the water park. Daichi offered to wait in the lines that had formed at the concession stands and get everyone’s orders so everyone else could sit and rest.

“Oh, hey, Iwa-chan. Why don’t you go keep Daichi company?”

“Huh? Why? He already off…” Tooru shoved him forward to get him to shut up. Iwa-chan turned around and looked like he was ready to punch Tooru in his shit-eating face. But he paused when he looked at how serious Tooru must have looked. Iwa-chan’s eyes flicked towards Suga for a split second, and then he stood up straight and joined Daichi in line.

“Everything alright, Oikawa?” Suga asked.

“You’re going to have to tell me that,” Tooru replied. “Listen, I know things have been weird with the team. But why haven’t you ever asked to play as setter?”

“Huh? Why? You’re an amazing setter Oikawa!” Tooru nodded in agreement, “Much better than me,” Tooru threw his head back in exasperation, “I wouldn’t add anything that you couldn’t already do.” That was the sentence that made things start to click. Not only did it break Tooru’s heart that Suga believed that statement, it was eating away at the essence of his soul because Suga couldn’t see how wrong it was.

“Kou-chan, listen to me for a moment, OK. I think you should try being the setter for a while.” Suga’s mouth gaped open, but he couldn’t seem to form a response.

“It’s like you were saying in the car at our match against your old teammates. We’re not working together well. The team needs someone who brings everyone together, connects us. And as much as I hate to admit it, I’m not the best person for that job.”

“What do you mean? Your strength as a setter is to bring out the best in people.”

“Yes but one, I don’t have to be the setter to do that. Two, that’s not what the team needs. Our spikers are already they best they can be. Or at least, I haven’t found anything they need to work ok. The same goes for our blockers. Kou-chan, it’s exactly like you said. We have already have the best team. We just need to learn to work together. With you being the setter, we could do that.”

“But, I don’t understand people as well as you do. At least not how they function as players. My strength is in changing the mood of the…” Suga’s words left him and he deflated. The light of understanding reached his eyes and tears started to well up under his light brown irises. Suga was the best choice for setter this time, but he was only now seeing it.

“I…I’m not as good at volleyball though. You have a much better understanding of it than I do,” Suga said, grasping at straws.

“That doesn’t mean I should be the setter. Not this time.”

“I don’t want to take your position from you though!”

And there it was. The real reason Suga had never pushed being setter. Tears were streaming down his cheeks now. It was so painful to watch such a nice guy spend all of his effort building everyone else up at his own expense. Tooru could feel his own eyes start to ache. He slid closer and hugged Suga’s, patting his back.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll even help you if you want. Look, more than being setter I just want….” He sighed, “I want to be a better team.” Now Tooru was tearing up. He tried to wipe his eyes with his sleeve so he wouldn’t look like the mess he was actually becoming.

“Hey guys! We got th...woah…Oh my god, Suga, are you crying?!” Daichi and Iwaizumi had returned with everyone’s food now. From his position, Tooru hadn’t see them coming.

“Typical. We leave them alone for half a second, and the Trash-Lord makes Suga cry.”

“That’s _mean_ , Iwa-chan,” Tooru said, breaking the hug and turning around to face them. Iwa-chan had been calling him an awful lot of names lately.

“Holy hell, you’re crying too. It’s the fucking apocalypse,” Iwaizumi said.

They had to explain what had happened while the two were gone. At first, Iwaizumi and Daichi were skeptical of the idea, and it took some convincing which was largely done by Tooru. Suga was still accepting the idea himself. In the end, they agreed though. The team did need a stronger positive influence and Suga would make a great setter for them.

The sun blazed bright on their backs while that talked and ate. Everyone was sweating by the time they had finished lunch and developed a plan for introducing Suga as setter. They decided it was a good time to hit the water portion of the theme park.

After spending some time enjoying every single water slide, the large funnel where they shared a tube, and the wave pool where they nearly got kicked out for being too rambunctious, they decided to end their day with the lazy river. They chatted about volleyball and class while the river floated them around the course several times. Tooru began to feel more and more content. Suga laughed easy and wore a smile nearly the whole time. Daichi and Iwaizumi were so relaxed they almost drifted away from them once or twice.

Oh the ride home, everyone passed out except Tooru. They must have been exhausted from being in the sun and spending the whole day at the park. Even Tooru was a little sleepy, but he could drive them home. The stuffed dog bounced in the rearview mirror, strapped halfway hanging out of the trunk since it was too large to fit in the car with the top up.

Tooru dropped them off, one by one, with Suga being the last stop.

“Thanks for taking us to the amusement park, Oikawa,” Suga said as he got out of the car. He leaned in the window to flash Tooru a large smile of appreciation, holding his stuffed dog to the side.

“Don’t mention it. I’m glad you had a good time,”

“I’m glad you decided the rollercoasters weren’t as scary as you thought.”

“Now we just have to get you over your fear of the open ocean.” Did Tooru really just say that? Suga didn’t seem to think anything strange of it though. He kept on smiling at him.

“Let’s do it! Your birthday is coming up next month! We should go to the beach!”

Fucking hell, that’s not what he meant at all. Suga seemed far too happy for Tooru to contradict him though.

“See ya later, Oikawa!”

“Bye…”

He watched Suga lug the toy up to his dorm room and made sure he was inside before Tooru drove off. Back at home he did the bare minimum he needed to do before he went to bed, taking a quick shower and drying his hair, then finding a suitable meal that would keep him from waking up out of hunger. As soon as he was cleaned up and had a snack, he flopped down on the bed and tried to fall asleep.

Even though he was exhausted he lay awake for a long time, thinking about the day. The sun glinting off the water, the ridiculous prize Suga had won with a little direction, how happy Suga seemed while they were riding rollercoasters.

Thinking back on the rollercoaster ride, Tooru realized that Suga must have asked to sit next to him to prevent him from freaking out. Tooru hadn’t noticed at the time because he had been too concerned about the ride. He buried his head in the pillow, screaming at how dumb he had been.

* * *

 

Koushi stood at the edge of the court, wishing that today wouldn’t happen or that it was already over so that he didn’t have to deal with this. He didn’t know if he would prefer everything to come to a grinding halt or shift into warp speed anymore. All he knew was that he didn’t want to be there.

Yes, it was amazing that Oikawa believed he should be the setter for their team. But that didn’t mean Koushi believed it. Today was the day Oikawa wanted to tell the team what their new plan was. At least he had Daichi, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa at his back. Otherwise, he really wouldn’t be able to do this.

Even though it was the middle of the summer, Koushi’s hands started to get cold. This was worse than playing against Shiratorizawa. A brief image of Shimizu holding his hands to warm them up flashed through his mind.

In the same moment he was reimagining the scene and remember his panic, a weight fell around Koushi’s shoulders.

“I’M NOT READY TO HAVE KIDS!!” Dangit! His mouth gaped as he tried to process what he was shouting about. No one was asking him to have kids…

“You’re going to have to calm down…I figured you might be here early today, Kou-chan.” It was Oikawa, his voice smooth as silk even though Koushi had just been yelling.

Koushi could feel his legs start to vibrate. He didn’t want Oikawa to be there. Not now. Normally he didn’t get embarrassed by how terrified he was, it was bound to happen and it never prevented him from doing whatever it was anyway. Even when he freaked out at Shimizu last time, it wasn’t like she didn’t understand. Being scared was normal.

He still didn’t want Oikawa to see his near breakdown.

Koushi forced himself to take a deep breath and put his best game face on. Then he turned to face Oikawa, “I’m good! I’ve got this!” He tried to smile, to convince Oikawa and himself that everything was going to be alright. It wasn’t working. Oikawa put both hands on his shoulders and gave him a lop-sided grin. Not the kind that he gave when he was being sarcastic or mischievous. The grin was more somber, as if he wanted to be reassuring and didn’t know how.

“Look, Kou-chan. I really mean it when I say you should be setter. You’re better at getting people to work together and be more positive than I am.”

Koushi felt like his heart was going to explode, or maybe it was his head already exploding, or the remnants of his soul that had exploded and left his body. Something was causing him to break down, but he was too broken to figure out where it was. He couldn’t think of anything to say. It just wasn’t real. Oikawa must be saying that to be nice.

As if Oikawa had read his mind, he followed up with, “I mean it, Kou-chan! And that’s coming from me! The guys who hates letting other people win.”

Ok that last part was true, but Koushi still didn’t feel like he could ever be equal to Tobio’s mentor. He wanted to fight it, to argue and change Oikawa’s mind, but they had already been over the reasoning. Several times. Oikawa had even gone over to his house when Koushi had called two days ago to tell him he didn’t want to be setter anymore. They had spent hours talking about it, going in circles until Koushi couldn’t think of anymore arguments. It was still too difficult to believe.

“Look, I’m going to be right here to help you. Not that you’ll need it.”

“I know…and I’ll still do it…I’m just scared right now. It won’t leave my mind. I can’t force myself to believe that I can do this. Once it starts it’ll be better…”

Oikawa studied him hard, eyes darting up and down Koushi’s entire body to make sure he wasn’t lying. Then he gave him that happy-go-lucky smile.

“Well we’ve got an hour before practice starts. Why don’t we go do something to take your mind off of it for a bit?”

“Like what?”

Oikawa waved it off, “Who cares, something dumb. Oh I know! There’s that new shop around the corner that I wanted to check out! Let’s go there!”

Koushi agreed and Oikawa ended up taking him to a toy store. Of course he would. Koushi had to admit, it was much easier to focus on fulfilling Oikawa’s desires than it was to focus on his own worrying. He wondered if Oikawa didn’t know this and had chosen that activity on purpose. It was unlikely though.

They spent the next hour playing with a slew of toys. Or Koushi watched Oikawa play with them. It was a good distraction though. Plus, it was fun to watch Oikawa get excited over the new line of Star Wars toys and complex lego sets. Koushi hadn’t been in a toy store in ages.

At one point, Koushi was forced to distract Oikawa from challenging a random passerby to a lightsaber duel by telling him to look at a spaceship that blinked and made noises. No matter how small it was, Oikawa found it all utterly amusing, which Koushi found amusing in turn.

Before he knew it, it was time to go back to practice. For some odd reason, the dread from before was only half as potent now. It was manageable.

At least it was manageable until Oikawa called the team over to introduce Suga as the new setter…and told everyone that he was going to be in charge of practice that day so they could all get used to it. That wasn’t part of the plan…

Koushi stood in front of everyone for a long moment, wondering if he had heard correctly. They were all staring at him, eyes focused and waiting for instruction. This wasn’t happening.

He took a deep breath, gathering every ounce of bullshit courage he could muster.

“Ok…so…” he racked his brains trying to think of something they should be working on that day. Under the stress, he was having a hard time coming up with anything. Oikawa should have told him he would be leading practice so he could prepare…

Right, warm up first. He could do a warm up.

They spent about half an hour doing their usual ball-throw, spike drill, and passing drills. It wasn’t until Oikawa was paired up with Ushijima for the pepper drill that Koushi realized what they should be working on for practice. Maybe it was a corny idea, but Oikawa and Ushijima kept bickering and blaming the other one for the mistakes. Koushi didn’t know if his idea would help, but it was worth a try.

It took too much effort not to scream in terror when warm-ups were over and everyone turned back to face him, awaiting further instruction. He was not cut out for this, what was Oikawa thinking?!

“Ok so, I wanted to have a somewhat unorthodox practice today. We’re not going to be having a three on three match today. Nor will we be doing a run or anything physical for that matter. Instead, I want each of you to write a list of things that you admire or respect about each one of your teammates. We’ll read them out loud, and then we’ll do a trust fall.”

Everyone looked at him in confusion and doubt. It was a super cheesy idea, and Koushi wondered how he had ever convinced himself this would work. He should have just gone with a normal practice.

He was about to give in and tell everyone that they didn’t have to do that when Diachi spoke up. “That sounds like a great idea!”

Koushi breathed a sigh of relief. Ushijima began nodding in approval as well. Then Asahi. Soon everyone else began to nod in agreement and murmur about pencils and paper. Oikawa nodded, but judging from the expression on his face, Koushi could tell that he was nervous about the idea of writing something nice about Ushijima.

“How long will we be doing this?” Kuroo asked.

“As long as it takes for you to come up with good ideas. Some people might need more time than others. But, I want them to be genuine,” Koushi said. He was starting to feel better now that Daichi had spoken up. “I want you guys to spend some time picking out the good things about each other instead of trying to compete and tear each other down. If it takes you all day to come up with one nice thing to say, then so be it.”

The eight of them spent the better part of an hour writing down things they would have to say out loud to each other. Most people just wrote one or two liners about each other and it didn’t take much time. Kuroo spent an unusual amount of time writing his, but he was grinning at his paper afterwards. He had to shoo Bokuto away once or twice so he wouldn’t read it over his shoulder.

Oikawa, however, looked like he was writing a novel. Scribbling stuff down, scratching it out, writing more underneath it. His eyebrows were furrowed and his tongue jutted out to the side as he wrote. Ushijima didn’t have as much trouble. It may have taken him a while, but he seemed to settle on something, wrote it down, and then set his pencil down.

Soon, everyone had finished except Oikawa, who was still scribbling furiously. The silence started to make every shift where they were sitting, but Koushi didn’t want them to put pressure on Oikawa. It had to be sincere or this exercise wouldn’t work.

“Hey, Bokuto, what are your plans for finding a job?” Koushi asked. Just like that, the silence was broken and everyone chatted amongst themselves. It wasn’t much, but it would keep the focus off of Oikawa until he was done. At some point, Oikawa stopped for a bit to reread. When he started again, it was more fluid and he wasn’t sticking out his tongue in concentration anymore. After what seemed like an eternity, where Koushi questioned the exercise at least a dozen times, Oikawa finally stopped writing.

“Ok, since this was my idea, I’ll go first!” Koushi announced.

He went through each player one by one. Koushi told Daichi he admired his calm and collected demeanor, Bokuto that he was the most amazing teammate when he was excited, Kuroo that he was a devilishly cunning player, Ushijima that he was much more wise than he had first appeared, Asahi that he had never met a more friendly person, Iwaizumi that he had a good head on his shoulders, and Oikawa that he admired him as a setter and was honored he was giving Koushi this chance. Even if he didn’t agree with it. Once he was done with his speech, he stood on the nearby bench and fell into everyone’s outstretched arms.

Upon standing back up, the idea didn’t seem as dumb anymore.

The rest of the team had similar things to say about each other, although Kuroo had written Bokuto a short poem about how good he was in bed that made everyone uncomfortable while he read it. Especially Bokuto, who started flailing so hard, he almost hit Iwaizumi in the face in a desperate attempt to get Kuroo to shut up.

When it was Ushijima’s turn, Koushi held his breath hoping that he thought of something nice to say about Oikawa. Thank god he had. He said Oikawa had a way of making people like him that he couldn’t understand, but still envied.

The last person to go was Oikawa. Koushi wasn’t afraid because it had looked like he had tried hard to say something thoughtful.

Oikawa went through the rest of the team first, Iwaizumi, Asahi, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Daichi. When it was Ushijima’s turn, Oikawa gave Koushi a nod. Then he started speaking and Koushi didn’t know if he wanted to scream or die.

“Ushijima…I was having a difficult time thinking of something positive to say about you, and then I realized what the problem was. The problem is that I fucking hate you. I hate you almost as much as I hate Tobio-chan who I hate more than anyone I know.” At that point, there was more than one gasp of protest and Koushi almost stood up to stop him. Oikawa held out a hand though. He had exactly two second to prove he wasn’t going to continue being an ass.

“It’s not your fault though. It…It’s mine. I made a bad decision trying to force myself into being the setter of this team. I wanted to try and prove that I was better than you. And I realize that I’m most likely the reason we’ve been having a hard time working together. I couldn’t write something nice about you this time. Instead, I decided that I should say what needed to be said so we can move past this. I hate you. And it’s my fault…and most importantly…I’m sorry. I..I’m going to do my best to be better,” Oikawa wiped his eye with the heel of his hand, looking only at the paper in his hand and nothing else. “And I’ll try to think of something nice to say later to make up for it…since I couldn’t seem to do it this time.”

No one said anything as Oikawa stared at them, trying hold back the tears while visibly shaking. Koushi was speechless. He never expected Oikawa, of all people, to admit that he was wrong. And definitely not in front of a crowd of people. He certainly hadn’t intended for that to happen when he suggested the activity. At best Koushi had hoped they would realize that they didn’t have to focus on the bad things about each other. Oikawa took a shaky breath to steady himself before he began to speak again.

What Koushi had forgotten in the shock of Oikawa’s speech was that he still hadn’t said nice things about Koushi yet. He wasn’t prepared for the next words.

“Sugawara Koushi,” he began, using Koushi’s full name. His tone was lighter and more playful again.

“I lied about hating Tobio the most. I hate you more,” he said, pausing to smile.

“I hate that you’re such a good role model all the damn time and I hate that no one gives you the recognition you deserve. You’re the most patient and kind hearted person I know. But more than anything, I hate how you don’t believe in yourself. Because you’re worth believing in. I know you’ll be a great setter for our team. I’m sorry if I failed you.” With that, Oikawa crumpled his paper and shoved it into his pocket.

“Do I have to do the trust fall?” he asked, hunching his shoulders like he was afraid someone was going to attacked him.

Everyone laughed, but they all stood with their arms outstretched to catch Oikawa. Most of them were smiling. Even the corner of Ushijima’s mouth was upturned. Iwaizumi was rolling his eyes. It may have been ridiculous, but it may have been the most courageous thing Oikawa could have done.

Koushi needed to ask for a moment to compose himself when Oikawa turned his back on them.

“Dammit, Assikawa. This is why we can’t have nice things! Stop making Suga cry!” Iwaizumi shouted.  
  
“Hey! I was crying too!” Oikawa countered.

“No one cares!”

“You’re so mean, Iwa-chan!” Thank goodness for Iwaizumi and his dry sense of humor, because everyone started laughing which gave Koushi the moment he needed to compose himself.

“Ok, I’m ready.”

When Oikawa fell, there was a positive vibe among the group. Koushi could feel it spreading, feel its tendrils take root and manifest themselves in the surrounding hearts. Maybe the activity hadn’t gone the way he planned, but it had done its job.

After practice, Daichi went to dinner with Koushi so they could talk. They had invited Asahi, but he had plans to go meet someone else for dinner. They went to a ramen shop, and Koushi ordered the spiciest ramen they had. Comfort food to help after his stressful day.

“You did well today, Suga!” Daichi said. The compliment made Koushi smile. As usual, it wasn’t so difficult once the ball was rolling.

“What are you going to do about Oikawa?” Daichi asked next.

“I mean, his answer wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. But it worked. I wasn’t planning on doing anything with him.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Oh.

“Um…I’m not sure,” Koushi said.

“Are you just going to let it stew? Not say anything and hope it either goes away or he makes the first move?” Daichi’s eyes were trained on him, watching.

Koushi looked up at this ceiling. He didn’t want to be having this conversation, but it was probably important. Especially considering their history.

“I’ll let him come to me if he wants. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be,” Koushi said.

“I still think you should tell him. Seems like he likes you enough, and he may not figure it out for himself. He can be sort of dense if you haven’t noticed.”

“I know. But I don’t want to lose any more friends…”

“You didn’t lose me.”

“No, but a year and a half of awkward practices and barely talking isn’t worth it either. Oikawa probably isn’t as understanding as you were anyway. If I tell him I like him, and the feelings aren’t reciprocated…he’d probably leave the team.” Koushi tasted his ramen, feeling it sting his tongue and clear his sinuses. The sensation relaxed him. Daichi didn’t pursue the topic any further.

* * *

[this is where i'm editing fyi...working on it]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found out recently that I share a birthday with the trash lord and [lies on the ground] why me. Also, I realized the beginning is kinda crowded with useless or repetitive stuff. Sorry, I'm hoping I have the energy to fix it later.


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